You gotta love those studies...

A Japanese study found that 30 minutes of passionate kissing can relieve both respiratory and skin reactions for people with allergies.

--"The Complete Idiot's Guide to Superchared Kama Sutra"

Well, fine then...

A conversation between my daughter and me…

Daughter: "Lean over. I want to give you a Wet Willie." (Translation: saliva-drenched finger in the ear.)

Mama: "Uh, no."

Daughter: "Please?"

Mama: "No, my doll, I don't want a Wet Willie."

Daughter (petulant and annoyed): Well, fine then. I'll just give one to myself."

The Morning After

"The morning after their honeymoon the new bride says, 'You know, you're really a lousy lover.' Her husband replies, 'How can you tell after only 30 seconds.'"

--The Complete Idiot's Guide to Supercharged Karma Sutra

The unlikely trio: religion, sex and humour

"I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child."

—Woody Allen, Clown Prince of American Humor

Sex Scenes...

"I like the old story of the illicit couple who are in bed making love when they hear the front door bang open, 'My God, it's my husband,' she whispers. 'He's probably got a pistol!'

'Where's your back door?' asks the lover in a panic.

'We don't have one!' she says.

'Where would you like one?' asks the lover.'"

From "101 Best Sex Scenes Ever Written" by Barnaby Conrad

Pucker up

What is it about red lipstick? It takes about five hours to put on and five minutes to eat off. The result: a mouth that looks like a baboon's butt.

Seriously, not the look I'm going for.

Correct me if I'm wrong...

...but when you push down on your car's accelerator, it's supposed to speed up, right?

If so, could someone have a word with my car? It seems to have other ideas.

Undecided

So I'm trying to come up with my blog's name. You know, something light, catchy, memorable, yet meaningful. I'm stressing. Which, admittedly, doesn't take much. But it's like naming a child. There's no getting round the fact that you're branding an individual for life. That's not something to be taken lightly. Shit, if you do, you may as well start shovelling money into that therapy fund you'll be needing down the line.

Here, with this blog name, I'm branding myself, aren't I? But it's late, and I'm tired, and I'm totally uninspired. But there's also no such thing as 'sitting on something' in my world. So I head to this name-generating website. I'm told to plug in any key word and it'll spit out the varous options. Options. Okay. I like options. So I type in: Phoebe. As you would, right? The blog's about me, after all.

Well, let me tell you, I wait no time at all before I'm offered the below:

* Phoebe of the Enlighted Weasel
* Icky Phoebe of the Act Cracker
* Phoebe Amigo of the Undecided Freezer
* Permanent Phoebe and the Manic Asylum
* Sushi Phoebe and the Stinking Puck

Yupe. We've got us some real contenders here. But I'm sticking with "Utterly Phoebe", and feeling just that tad bit 'vanilla' for my decision.